6:37 p.m. - 2004-08-04
Booyah
I've become increasingly bored with Diaryland. Or rather, the people who use Diaryland.
My fellow writers as well as my readers, both loyal and occasional.
People, apparently, are not interested in my particular brand of filth. Apparently, my writings do not pique the sensibilities of the majority of humans.
Yes, I used the word "pique"....
On average, I have noticed that I will be left a note once every 2 weeks or so.
A loyal fan will send me an e-mail praising my diary approximately once every 15 years.
My typical diary entry will have three comments left on it.....
My diary leaves people speechless.
Understandable!
And while I know that literally thousands of people visit my diary each month, their speechlessness leaves me assuming one thing:
Nobody cares.
Understandable!
Here is what I find amusing though:
When I look around on Diaryland, and read other people's boring diaries, I see lots of entries like this:
"I had a bad day at school today! My teacher is so lame. Luckily, Jared is coming home tomorrow, so I will be able to stay the night with him. He is so kewl! I can't think of anything to write, so here is a picture of me: (blurry webcam photo of girl).....It is old. It was taken when I was a junior. Jared says it is his favorite photo of me. He is so kewl! I can't think of anything to write! Oh well I have to go do homework. I'll write more later. Bye."
Booooooring!!
Don't believe me? Look around Diaryland.
Peruse at your leisure.
Here's the funny part though:
It is not uncommon for an entry similar to the one I just typed to have upwards of 20 comments!!
TWENTY COMMENTS!
Meaning AT LEAST 20 people found her entry to be so interesting that they just had to put in their two cents.
What the?
"Comment 1: Just found your diary. It is so kewl. You are pretty."
"Comment 2: Jared sounds cute. Show a picture of him."
"Comment 3: I totally know where you're coming from. I know what it's like to not be able to think of anything to write also."
"Comment 4: Hey, just stumbled upon your diary. You are a great writer. What kind of homework did you have? I had biology homework today. I'm adding you to my list of Favorite Diaries."
Etc.
Etc.
Give me a break!
So, I've come up with a foolproof plan to improve reader turnout and positive response! I have decided that I am going to change the format and content of my diary from now on. I will write just like the rest of Diaryland people...in an effort to fit in.
Starting now:
Hi, everybody. My knee hurts. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow. I think I have torn cartilage. I'm nervous to get surgery, because I am afraid of needles. I saw The Manchurian Candidate last night. It is cool. I can't wait until I get paid on Friday.
There.
That is a definite improvement on my other entries....I hope everybody agrees.
Hopefully, I will fit in with this Diaryland community from now on, with my new style of writing....
And hopefully everybody who reads my new style of writing will comment about how kewl I am.
Oh wait....
I just remembered something....
I don't give a shit about fitting in with a community of 12-16 yr. old, angst-ridden, young girls.
Damn.....
Well, there goes my plan to improve reader turnout and increase reader response.
Alright then, I'll have to go with Plan 2:
Go on a Diaryland hiatus until the beginning of September.
Starting now.
Kewl!
