6:56 p.m. - 2004-06-23
Terrorendy
Reagan has been dead for a while now. There are probably worms eating his eyeballs as we speak.
I think it's time to put the flags back at the top of the flagpoles.
They have been at half-mast for quite a while now. Everybody was so eager to drop those suckers down to the middle of the pole when Ronald died, and now they are too lazy to put them back at the top.
When somebody dies, a flag should be at half-mast for maybe one day after the death.
Any longer than that is outrageous.
It is like the lazy sons of bitches who leave their Christmas lights up around their house all year long.
If I was a girl, and I was having sex with a guy who had erectile dysfunction, I would say this:
"Why's your penis still at half-mast? Reagan's been dead for damn near two weeks now."
But I'm not a girl.
I did think of one thing I could say, though, years from now.....If I'm ever kidnapped and threatened with death by beheading in the year 2007, or 2008, I can always ridicule the terrorists by making their plans sound lame and outdated.
All I'd have to do is say, "Get with the times. Beheading was soooo 2004".....and they will be forced to think of an up-to-date way to kill me.
Kind of like how the popularity of anthrax has come and gone. If anybody threatened me with anthrax right about now, I would laugh.
"Anthrax was soooo 2002, buddy. Get with it. Why don't you go buy some velcro shoes since you're living in the past?"
If the guy cancelled his anthrax plan because of his embarrassment of being outdated, I'd give him credit for that.....But, if I was walking through a parking lot to my car, and a bullet hit me in the shoulder out of nowhere, I'd have to give the guy my lecture again, whenever I found him.
"I'm glad you cancelled your blast from the past anthrax plan, but what year is this? 2002? Sniping is OUT, pal."
Hopefully, he would catch on to the new wave terrorist trend of decapitation.
By terrorists, I mean "terrorists of all nationalities"......Not just Iraqis.
The Beltway Snipers and anthrax mailer, for instance, were Americans, as we all know.
If nothing else can be said about terrorists, I have to at least give them credit for being trendsetters.
They're always up to date with what's hot and what's not.
Every once in a while, they'll try to start a comeback....like the snipers, for instance. It was cool to be a sniper in 1963.....and then that black fellow and his boy wonder sidekick tried to bring that shit back in 2002.
It didn't last.
I think 2005 will be the year that poisoned Kool-Aid makes a comeback. That crap was all the rage in the 70's.
In 2007-2008, I'm assuming that the terrorists' choice method of death will be something involving anti-gravity boots or killer robots.
It will be the future, after all....
I can dream, can't I?
