6:09 p.m. - 2004-02-09
Little Granny Fanny
So, I was eating some food the other day on my lunch break at work, and I'm sitting in my car....
I always eat in my car. I don't like sitting at a table by myself.
I always park my car towards a wall too. So nobody can see me eat.
I think it is gross to watch other people eat while I am eating.
I also think it's gross for other people to watch me eat.
I don't need some fat-ass slob at Taco Bell eye-fucking me while I eat.
People eye-fuck me a lot, I think.
It's gross.
There are lots of things in life that disgust me, believe it or not.
So, I'm sitting in an alley behind a gas station, eating my sandwich on my lunch break, and my car is facing a wall, and I started thinking, while eating my sandwich, how easy it would be to just sit there in my car and masturbate.
In the middle of the day!! Behind a busy gas station, as people come and go! Nobody would suspect a thing.
And as I'm eating, I look out my passenger side window, and I see a magazine laying on the ground; its pages fluttering in the wind. It looked like some sort of Victoria's Secret catalog maybe, from a distance. I saw women standing around.
But then a strong gust of wind blew it and flipped the pages open to the middle. It revealed a spread-eagle, wide-open-vagina shot of some fat-ass granny.
She had a big, fat, wrinkly gut hanging over her hairy vagina.
She must've been about 60.
I could tell...even from a distance.
"Sweet," I thought, "Somebody was at this exact spot of this exact parking lot masturbating to granny porn."
Somebody had thought of my masturbation idea first.
I had to get out of my car to take a closer look. After all, maybe my eyes were deceiving me. Maybe it wasn't really a fat, wrinkly, granny snatch that I was seeing through my passenger side window.
Maybe it wasn't a 70-year-old twat fluttering in the breeze.
It was though.
The magazine, I found out, was called "Over 50". I figured some senile, old widower had been in this exact same parking lot the night before, jerking his small old-man cock to the "Over 50" porn, while thinking of his dead wife.
The magazine was all crusty and shit, as if the pervert who had been reading this trash had shot a load of his senior citizen semen all over the magazine.
The sick-ass old man, whoever he was, couldn't even have jacked off on to the pavement or into a bush....
He just had to spray his old-man load all over the granny porn magazine and get the pages all sticky and crusty.
That's uncalled for, in my opinion.
If you're going to leave porn laying around in an alley behind a gas station, at least leave it in a readable state for the next person who comes by.
This old guy who had jacked off to "Over 50" the night before was selfish though. Ejaculating all over the magazine.
He had made it very difficult for me to flip through the pages of the magazine and take a look at the flabby grandma twats. Especially when I'm trying to hold a sandwich in one hand.
But, you know....
I managed....
