10:49 p.m. - 2003-05-14
Love is in the air
Edgar Frog: Hi
KOOLKAT91272: Hello
Edgar Frog: I see by your member profile that you live in Manville, Rhode Island...
Edgar Frog: Me too, I just moved here.
KOOLKAT91272: Kool
Edgar Frog: I'm sorry for bugging you so late, but I just needed to tell you that I'm a convicted sexual offender.
Edgar Frog: As part of my penalty, I need to tell everybody who lives near me when I move to a new neighborhood.
KOOLKAT91272: ok
Edgar Frog: Don't worry. I'm not dangerous. I didn't rape anybody or anything like that.
KOOLKAT91272: ok
Edgar Frog: I'm ashamed of what I did.
KOOLKAT91272: you should be
Edgar Frog: I didn't hurt anybody though, I swear.
KOOLKAT91272: you did hurt someone if you did something like that it is wrong
Edgar Frog: All I did was ejaculate on to the doorknobs of my local elementary school.
Edgar Frog: After school hours......There were no kids there.
KOOLKAT91272: wow why did you do something like that
Edgar Frog: So that people would put their hands in it the next day.
KOOLKAT91272: im sorry but i dont understand
Edgar Frog: It turns me on to have people unknowingly touch my semen. I also used to ejaculate in to the bread at Subway, where I used to work....so the people would eat it unknowingly.
Edgar Frog: I got fired and arrested though.....Can you believe that?
KOOLKAT91272: why anybody would do something like that is beyond me
KOOLKAT91272 is not currently signed on
Yeah, it might be the quickest I've ever gotten anybody to ignore me in utter disgust....
And, being a mother of three, she'll probably lay awake tonight in fear, thinking about how I live in the same small town as her....wondering if the doorknobs at her childrens' school are safe from my semen...
And, maybe...just maybe...she'll even MOVE to another neighborhood, where she'll feel more safe....
But, still...I consider my newest chat conversation to be an utter failure.
She ignored me too quickly, and I didn't get to say everything I wanted to say to her.
And, it breaks my heart...
I mean, I really liked her.
I felt that her and I had a connection...and so it pains me that she ignored me before I could pour my heart out to her.
I wanted to talk serious with her, and tell her how I had turned a new leaf, and didn't ejaculate on doorknobs anymore.
Is that so wrong?
My goal was to confess my feelings for her, and ask her out on a date this weekend....now that freedom is once again mine, and I'm free to mingle with the opposite sex....as long as I don't leave the state.
I had romantic plans in mind for my conversation with her...
It's a shame she ignored me so quickly.
My ultimate plan, you see, was to ask her if she'd go out with me on Saturday night and be my getaway driver...so that I can sneak into the local orphanage and rub my testicles all over the kids' foreheads while they're asleep.
She doesn't know what she's missing.
I would've bought her flowers too....
It being a first date and all.
