6:09 p.m. - 2002-11-30
The times they are a changin'.....
I got a sweet new job. I start on December 9.
I'll be a graphic designer extraordinaire.
Life will be good.
Luckily, I'll still be able to get free computer time at Kinko's anytime I want, since I know the ol' trick about telling them I work at another Kinko's in another state. All Kinko's coworkers get free computer time. And they never ask questions.
"Hi, I work at the Kinko's in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Can you log me on to the computer?"
You think they're going to call the Kinko's in Michigan to verify what I say? Hell no they won't.
If they ask for my branch number, I just have to give them some random 4-digit number....4923 will work fine.
Free computer time for me.
I would never give out top-secret Kinko's secrets on the internet, which is why I'm not telling any of my readers to do this. I'm just writing in MY private diary about what I plan on doing in the future. Can I help it if you nosy motherfuckers read my diary about my personal life?!
Just don't tell anybody.
My salary is private too, and I don't really want to tell the entire world how much money per hour I'll be making at my new job. But, let's just say that it's a two-digit number that ends in a 4. In six months, I'll get a raise which will bump me up to a two-digit number ending in 5.
I'm going to be bling-bling pretty soon.
And, being bling-bling is rare for me. Lately, for instance, I've been eating jelly & jelly sandwiches.
I haven't been able to afford peanut butter.
On Thanksgiving, I had a microwave pizza.
I've had complaints lately about the large gaps between new diary entries. I've been averaging one entry every four days. If I've been slacking on writing diary entries lately, my new job has been the main reason. Job interviews and training at my new job.
All the while, continuing to work my final two weeks at Kinko's.
But, here's the good thing: More money in my wallet is going to mean a lot of positive changes in my life.
I'll finally be able to buy new shoes and socks and stop wearing plastic bags tied around my feet.
I'll finally be able to afford female hookers, instead of settling for the more cost-efficient transvestite ones.
And I'll finally be able to afford that penis enlargement surgery I've been wanting. Apparently, the ladies aren't impressed with my rock-solid three-incher.
And here's the most important part of my new, high-paying job:
I'll have more money to buy more whiskey....
And, more money to buy heavy artillery, more money to buy off judges and pay for defense attorneys, and more money to buy a lockpick set and night vision goggles....
I anticipate a good year of Edgar Frog diary entries in 2003.
