12:57 p.m. - 2002-11-26
Gag me with a spoon
Ewwww......Gross!
Let me clear something up for you....If you didn't know, very few things in the world make me exclaim: "Ewwww......Gross!"
A couple weekends ago I french-kissed some German Shepherds on the beach. I make girls write about semen and defecation on a monthly basis (more or less). I, myself, even drank my own urine once.
But, I'm really saying "Ewwww......Gross!" for a couple reasons.
First of all, I watched some documentary on HBO called "Gladiator Days"....and it was about a prison murder where two white inmates held down a black inmate, while one of the white inmates stabbed him 67 times. And it was caught on tape...on the prison surveillance camera.
The documentary showed the footage....a lot. Over and over. In slo-mo even. There was a lot of blood. The white guy stabbed him until he stopped moving. 67 times is a lot of stabs! The black guy was twitching up until the end.
"One less nappy-headed monkey in the world".....That's what the white inmate said. "There's some White Power jumpin' off in here!"...That's what the white inmate said as he wiped the blood off his hands, after the black guy had stopped moving.
It was disturbing to watch....But I always watch them HBO documentaries, because I like to tell myself that they are educational, and that they address issues which need to be addressed in society. I like to watch the disturbing images, not because I enjoy it....but because I think it is important to see what is going on in the world, and not turn your eyes from the bad parts of society.
But, sometimes I wonder if maybe them documentaries aren't good for me. As I'm laying in bed, with images racing through my head of the black guy being stabbed 67 times, I wonder if maybe those documentaries are warping my fragile, little mind....
I wonder sometimes if maybe they're desensitizing me to violence....to a point where the murders don't seem real, and the crazy ideas that the murderers are saying are somehow subliminally soaking into my brain....
It worries me.
But, here's the main reason I said, "Ewwww......Gross!":
The mouse for my computer is filthy.
But, you need to understand that if it was just a simple matter of having dirt....or dried feces...or crusted semen on my mouse, I wouldn't really have much of a problem with it.
Really the only parts of my hand that touch the mouse anyways are the tip of my index finger, maybe the tip of my middle finger, and part of my upper palm. My thumb usually touches the side of the mouse too.
I had always noticed black smudges on the two buttons, and on the side....Exactly where my two fingers and my thumb come in contact with the mouse. Like clockwork. Black smudges have formed, over time, from years and years of finger contact with the little plastic mouse.
The black smudges didn't concern me. Are you supposed to wash a mouse? I don't think so. And why should I buy a new one? It works fine.
Here's what's gross....and what I really only noticed today after close inspection of the mouse:
In addition to the black smudges where the fingers make contact, the ENTIRE mouse is coated in a layer of filth. And by "filth", what I mean is "a sticky layer of dried skin and what appears to be either mold or miniature corn flakes".....
You gotta look up close....
It's actually rough and bumpy. There's little orange-yellow specks. Honestly, it looks like I super-glued some cereal to my mouse.
I'm assuming it's mold...
I'm sticking with the mold theory.
Although I won't rule out dried semen.
Now, you decide which is more gross:
The fact that my right hand has been touching this filthy, mold-covered, sticky piece of shit mouse on a daily basis, unbeknownst to me, and that I have probably more than once immediately put my hands in my mouth or touched some sort of food after handling the mouse, without washing my hands first......
Or, the fact that the only thing that really ever touches the mouse is my right hand....and somehow there's mold growing on it.
I don't know if it's worse that the mouse has been secretly getting my hand so dirty on a daily basis....or that my hand got the mouse so dirty to begin with.
Fuck, I don't care....
I feel like stabbing somebody.
