Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

3:12 a.m. - 2002-10-26
Buckwhee muss be wo'bin in hid gwabe...
I used to think that the sickest thing that two humans could possibly do together was a man putting one end of a tube in his ass, and the other end of the tube in a woman's vagina...and then straddling her as he defecates, so that his feces flows through the tube and into the woman's birth canal.

Yeah, I know...it's pretty bad...

And YOU aren't the one who thought of it....I am.

Imagine being me.

Imagine thinking about that stuff.

Rather than a vagina and an ass, the tube could just be inserted into the rectums of two people, and they could shit into each other's asses.

Back and forth.

"Shit swapping"...

I've never seen it done. But, surely it's possible.

These are the types of things that go through my mind as I lay in bed at night.

It's a curse really....

But, recently I discovered something which actually occurs in society....and it's real! And it's not just something I thought of while laying in bed one night.

It's called meatotomy.

I read about it! I saw photos!

You can too, if you search for "meatotomy" on your favorite search engine.

Better yet, search for "meatotomy photos".....not while you're eating though.

It's when a man slits open his glans to make his urethra wider.

In layman's terms: Cutting open the pee-hole at the tip of the penis.

Generally, it is a hole about 3 millimeters in length. It's a sensitive area too. I'm afraid to even put a Q-Tip in mine...and trust me, I've tried.

I guess some guys just want bigger holes. So, they take a scalpel to the head of their penis, and slit that baby wide open.

Here's what I've learned about meatotomy:

There have been some instances where one man is able to expand his urethra so wide that another man is actually able to insert the head of his own penis.

The thing I read included an illustration...of one man inserting his penis INTO the head of another man's penis.

It looked like a goddamn snake swallowing another snake.

Cannibalism.

Trying to put a Q-Tip in there is painful. I don't know about having another man's penis go in there.

I don't know about having another man's penis go anywhere, actually....

So, I think this meatotomy thing just might surpass that whole "shitting into a girl's uterus" idea of mine.

I just feel bad that the meatotomy thing isn't an original idea of mine.

The same day I became enlightened about meatotomy, I also heard from the auto mechanic that my car is going to cost a few dollars shy of $1,000 to fix the clutch.

About $1,000 more than what I can afford....and they'll have to keep my car for 6 days.

Also....that same day....two Little Rascals tragedies happened. Some videotape evidence was found that's going to put Robert Blake in jail forever. He played Mickey. AND...Jay R. Smith, one of the ORIGINAL "Our Gang" members was found stabbed to death in the Las Vegas desert. The Little Rascals curse continues....

It was a sad day.

Jay R. Smith was 87. He was in Our Gang at the beginning, in the late 20's. Alfalfa, Buckwheat, and Spanky came later, in the mid-30's. Mickey came even later still.

Not that you care....but I'm a Little Rascals fan. I know more about the Little Rascals than just about anything else. I've read more Little Rascals information than any other topic probably.

Well....Except, unfortunately, for meatotomy...

For some fucking reason, I sat there the other day reading about meatotomy for hours, looking at photos of guys with their penises split open, reading meatotomy stories...My fucking meatotomy knowledge just about surpasses my obscure Little Rascals knowledge now.

It's sad....

Plus, the human brain is only about a foot long. There's not that much room for information to spread out.

So, what if I get Alzheimer's Disease or something, and my brain starts getting the "Little Rascals" knowledge mixed up with the "meatotomy" knowledge....and all the facts get swirled around and mixed up in my mind....?!

I can just imagine family night with my wife and kids, years from now, sitting on the couch watching old Little Rascals episodes, and me saying something like:

"Oh, kids, this next episode is called 'Doggone Tired'. One of my favorites. It's the one where Spanky and Pete the Pup get locked in the clubhouse, and the other kids don't know where they are. You're gonna love this one, kids. It's also the episode with the scene of Buckwheat inserting the head of his dick into the wide-open pee-hole of Alfalfa's cock."

My poor wife...

My poor kids...

But then again, they'd probably be used to it by then....it would probably be an everyday occurance that they had learned to accept.

My wife would probably ignore it.

My kids would probably laugh.

"Daddy, you're silly. You think EVERYTHING involves cocks with wide-open pee-holes!"

 

previous - next

 

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!