|
12:10 a.m. - 2002-09-03 October 3rd.... I'll be 24, by the way. I figure if I tell my diary readers now, you'll all have plenty of time to get me birthday gifts. My favorite gifts, of course, are credit card numbers...which you should feel free to e-mail me. Don't forget to give me the expiration date too. Females are more than welcome to send me nude pictures of themselves, of course. Buying Whiskey For Kids merchandise from my store would be a nice gesture, with my birthday looming on the horizon. But, if nothing else, the LEAST you can do is wish me a happy birthday in my e-mail box. Not today. I don't want birthday greetings a month in advance. So, you have to time it carefully...I want to sign on to my e-mail on October 3rd, and find my e-mail bombarded with birthday greetings, from people all over the world. Not a day sooner....Not a day later. That will really knock my socks off. That will really make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I might even shit my pants from happiness if you thankless urchins did that for me on my 24th birthday. It will be interesting to see all the different states, and even different countries, that my birthday greetings come from....Because, I know that I have readers spread out all over the world. And even though we're miles apart, I still have a special kind of love for each and every one of my diary readers.....In fact, I just wrote a little song about it. It goes like this:
And even though I know how very far apart we are, Somewhere out there, if love can see us through,
I didn't steal it or anything. It's totally original. I mean, who else would've written it? Linda Ronstadt? Give me a break! Like I've said before, I get very sentimental when it comes to my diary fans. I'm able to write love songs about my readers with no problem. The words just flow out of my head like shit from a duck. Did I mention that I'll also accept used panties as a birthday gift from my female readers? Especially if they have vaginal wetness on them. Just send them to me in a Ziploc bag. Maybe I'll change the lyrics: Somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight,
|