5:56 a.m. - 2002-07-31
I think I have cancer
I have the strangest looking bump on the base of my penis.
When it first showed up, I thought it was probably just a pimple....But it's not like I get pimples on my penis frequently.
My penis is relatively clean. I wash it at least once a week or so.
The other scary thought that occurred to me was that it might be genital warts....but, if it were genital warts, there would probably be more than one bump. This is just one bump.
Plus, it's not like I've gotten much action lately. What would I have gotten genital warts from? My right hand? I haven't been ass-raped by any diseased homosexual men....at least not that I can remember.
It could be an ingrown hair follicle....I've never had an ingrown hair follicle on my penis, so I don't know what one would look like.
It's right where the bottom of the penis and the top of my scrotum meet.
It hurts like hell though.
I tried popping it, to see if it would pop like a pimple. But, it didn't pop.
So, I squeezed harder...I wasn't going to give up until blood gushed out of it. It's like the size of a marble.
My eyes began to water as I squeezed it.
I think I even had an out-of-body experience from the pain....I was floating up to heaven, and I looked down and I could see myself sitting naked on my floor, with my ankles behind my head, trying to squeeze pus and blood out of my testicles, and then God told me that I still had work to do on Earth and it was not my time to leave yet, so I floated back down into my body.....
Honest!
My penis bump didn't pop though. There's nothing there to pop. It's just a hard lump in the testicle. It's probably testicular cancer....That would be funny. It would at least make for some interesting diary entries.
I'll keep my eye on it and see if it grows.
I'm thinking of taking a picture of it with my digital camera and posting the picture in an upcoming diary entry for everybody to see. Then everybody can give me their professional medical opinions.
Plus, it will give me a good excuse to show my penis to the world. Everybody deserves to see it.
It's about time somebody other than my mom saw my penis.
Man, I hope I don't have testicular cancer....
I hope I'm just growing a third testicle.
If I had a third testicle, it would be a childhood dream come true.
Well...assuming the third testicle shoots lasers.
