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4:51 p.m. - 2002-06-24
Pea You
I can finally eat solid foods again.

I'm no longer limited to pea soup.

Jesus Christ.....I sound like an old man.

You know you're in a pathetic condition when you're happy to be eating solid foods.

Well, at least the ability to eat solid foods was the only useful ability I lost temporarily.

I guess there are other people who have it worse.

At least I'm not proudly announcing right now that "I can finally wipe my own ass again" or something.

Or people with colostomy bags, who can't even defecate normally, and so they have to shit directly from their lower intestines into a bag.

I guess they have it worse.

What do they get excited about, I wonder?

Maybe when they get a new bag hooked up....like a brand new bag to replace their old, leaky bag.

Their proudest moment is probably when they say something like:

"I can finally take a shit without the whole world seeing feces ooze out of the bag and drip down my leg."

Pathetic bastards.

I'll take pea soup over a colostomy bag anytime.

 

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