Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

2:08 p.m. - 2001-10-28
Anthrax rocks the mic
I was making a peanut butter & jelly sandwich yesterday, and as I pulled the knife out of the jar, I noticed blue fuzz all in the peanut butter.

Don't get me wrong...it wasn't mold. It was a brand new jar, and to be honest, I'm not even sure if mold grows on peanut butter.

On closer examination, it almost looked like string or blue cotton of some sort. I was thinking maybe some cotton fuzzballs from my shirt had fallen into the peanut butter. But I was wearing a white shirt.

I didn't want to spread the shit on my bread, just in case it maybe was mold. So, I smelled it....it smelled like normal peanut butter. It didn't seem to be rotten.

And that's when it hit me....."Holy Jesus God!!! If it's anthrax, I'm done for. The most deadly variant of anthrax is the inhalation kind.....and I just sniffed in a big-ass whiff of the shit. Why?! WHY?!?! What did I do to deserve this? Why did the Taliban put anthrax in my peanut butter?! I never did anything to them."

See....anthrax comes in a white powder form, but, once it makes contact with the sugary goodness of Skippy peanut butter, a chemical reaction might have caused it to turn blue.

I inhaled a large portion of it.

I went to bed last night, praying that I survive through the night.

Now...this morning, I have a strange bump underneath my right nipple.

So, I'm either developing a third nipple, or I contracted anthrax from my Skippy.

Either way I'm doomed.

Goodbye cruel world.

 

previous - next

 

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!