1:04 a.m. - 2004-08-02
The kindness of AOL
Welcome Edgar Frog ...
Connecting to server. Please wait...
Connected to tech-a.mhi.aol.com
Welcome to America Online's Live Help Area. A Customer Care Consultant will be with you shortly.
AOLTechPAD has joined this session!
Hello, Edgar Frog. Welcome to Live Technical Support. My name is Al.
Edgar Frog stated the question or problem as: Terrorist attacks.
Are you signed on with the same computer that you need assistance with?
Edgar Frog: Yes
AOLTechPAD: I am not able to determine exactly what type of assistance you need. If you could restate your question or provide more information, I'll be more than happy to assist you.
Edgar Frog: I read that Tom Ridge or whatever his name is, the Homeland Security guy, raised the terror alert. Am I at risk by using AOL?
Edgar Frog: I've heard that terrorists sometimes use computers to attack people.
AOLTechPAD: I understand that you have concern about knowing if there is a risk with terrorist by using AOL?
Edgar Frog: Yes, I want to make sure that they can't spy on me or possibly kill me by using AOL.
AOLTechPAD: Thanks for clarifying that Edgar, using AOL with your computer is totally safe.
Edgar Frog: My brother said he heard a rumor that terrorists can send electric charges through the cables that can shock people who are using the mouse. Like, the mouse will electrify you.
Edgar Frog: The mouse attached to the computer, I mean....Not a pet mouse.
AOLTechPAD: Because terrorist cannot attack you thru your computer and thru AOL.
Edgar Frog: You know, the thing you click on? That's the mouse I'm talking about. Not the animal.
AOLTechPAD: I understand that you are referring, but that cannot be done by anyone else. So there's nothing to worry about it.:)
Edgar Frog: If I have porn on my computer that I don't want my mom to know about, no terrorists can find it and tell her, can they?
AOLTechPAD: No, because if you have accessed a porn, you can just delete the history and your mom can't able to find it.
Edgar Frog: Oh cool. Thanks.
AOLTechPAD: You are most welcome Edgar:)
Edgar Frog: Exactly what measures have been taken by AOL to guarantee safety from terrorist activities?
AOLTechPAD: America Online does not release details of an individual's account activity to the public. AOL members' account records are, by law, privileged information. Please visit AOL Keyword: Privacy Policy to know more about AOL's Terms of Service.
AOLTechPAD: With this case, you can be able to continue using your computer with AOL, without fear :)
Edgar Frog: What if a terrorist sent me an e-mail pretending to be some hot girl and I met her offline, and it was a terrorist?
AOLTechPAD: That's not possible, because terrorist cannot attack thru internet.
Edgar Frog: I was thinking maybe AOL could have fingerprint identificaion to log on, instead of just a password.....Like in Ocean's Eleven, how they use fingerprints to get in the vault.
Edgar Frog: Maybe AOL would be safer that way....If every user had to log on with fingerprint identification.
AOLTechPAD: With this case you can always voice your concerns regarding that issue at keyword: TELL US. All of the improvements of the AOL software are taken there
Edgar Frog: If I went to Keyword: TELL US, do you think AOL would take my advice and start fingerprint identification to log on?
AOLTechPAD: Not exactly, but AOL will take a proper actions with your suggestion.:)
Edgar Frog: If you do use my advice, and start doing fingerprint identification with AOL 10.0, how much would I get paid for selling you the idea?
AOLTechPAD: I'm sorry, I have no idea. However I think the price will just stay the same just for the benefit of AOL members like you.
Edgar Frog: So, in a way, I have saved every AOL member from terrorist attacks.
AOLTechPAD: Yes:)
Edgar Frog: Cool.
Edgar Frog: You're welcome, by the way.
AOLTechPAD: :)
AOLTechPAD: Is there anything else I can assist you with at this time?
Edgar Frog: No. I'm sick of talking to you.
Edgar Frog: Bye.
AOLTechPAD: Ok Edgar.
AOLTechPAD: Thank you for visiting America Online Live Help. If you need help again, just go to AOL Keyword: Live Help, and we'll be here to assist you.
AOLTechPAD: Have a good night!
Edgar Frog: Don't tell my mom I have porn though, ok?
AOLTechPAD: Ok
Edgar Frog: It's gay porn....and she doesn't even know I'm gay.
Edgar Frog: Bye.
AOLTechPAD: Bye
The funny thing to note in this conversation, by the way, is that if any 10-15 year old boy ever needs to know how to hide any evidence of his internet porn viewing from his parents, he can always turn to AOL's friendly 24 hour tech support service.
Remember kids, AOL Tech Support will gladly provide any tips and tricks you need to make sure Mom or Dad never knows you were downloading porn against their wishes.
Today's lesson, children, is that you can always delete the internet history, and Mom will never know that while she was at the supermarket, you were surfing the web and downloading pictures of pot-bellied, middle-aged men teabagging each other's mouths with their hairy ballsacs.
Who says my diary doesn't teach kids anything?
