4:23 p.m. - 2004-06-18
Light in the loafers
I have learned lots of important stuff from my polls.
I learned that the majority of my readers want to give me a blowjob. Nobody wants a baby porcupine inserted into their rectum, and most people would rather have their genitals tortured than have George W. Bush as their president.
I just found out that I only have 30 days left for my "Super Gold" diary account. Which means people can only leave me comments for 30 more days.
So, everybody who reads this should leave a comment or complaint on this entry down below.
Even YOU!
Also, that will allow me to keep track of how many of my readers are still alive, and how many have been kidnapped by terrorists and possibly beheaded.
You don't even have to write much. You could just write, "I am still alive and have not yet been beheaded."
I am too lazy to write a diary entry right now. I feel like copy/pasting shit from other people's diaries into my own diary, and passing it off as my own life.
I could copy what they said about their day, and pretend it's me talking about my day.
I could even mix/match elements from various other people's diary entries, and create a brand new, fictional life.
I'd be allowed to.
Most people's diaries aren't copyrighted.....Mine is though.
But most people's aren't.
I wouldn't do that though.
It would be very unoriginal and uncreative.
Plus, I'm too lazy to copy/paste from other people's diaries. It's too much work. I'll just write about my own life instead.
Well, it's been less than a week since Duke and I started seeing each other. But ya wanna know something?
This kid is SO fucking into me that I'll be completely STUNNED if he doesn't ask me to marry him before the year is out!
No fooling.
To me, the most disconcerting thing in the world is to wake up and still feel the lip gloss you put on hours before you went to bed (I can still feel the stuff I put on at 1:30 am). It means that, while you made a valiant effort at sleep, you failed as your makeup didn't even have time to wear off.
I'm shoveling a donut in my face right now because Friday is donut day and my ass is just not fat enough. Now that the weather is nice, FINALLY, I can start rollerblading again next week. Not today.
I went shopping today cause I actually had enough money. I found $60 from my pockets...lucky me.
I bought a pleated khaki skort, and a hot pink shirt that says "Pink is the new black". It's coolio.
A skort is half skirt, and half shorts.
I decided, by the way, that I'll never copy other people's diary entries and pass them off as my own.
If I did, it would make me sound sort of, uh.....gay.
Longtime readers who come to my diary would think, "What happened to the good ol' Edgar Frog I used to know that got drunk and vomited and degraded women? Why is he so light in the loafers nowadays?"
Problem is.....Most other Diaryland writers are female.
I will let miss-k2, iluvtunes, creepatron, applesareyum, and all the other Diaryland people out there have their own lives.
I will stick with my own life, and write about my own drunken adventures later.....When I have more time.
I have to go right now.
I've decided that I will start rollerblading today. I'm gonna rollerblade to the store in my new pink shirt to pick up some lip gloss to wear on my date with Duke later.
The reason I'm rollerblading instead of driving is so that I can drop some pounds.
Otherwise I won't be able to fit my fat ass into this new skort I bought.
