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11:28 p.m. - 2003-05-07
Get on your knees and study
CHICAGO (AP) - A touch football game between suburban Chicago high school girls turned into a brutal hazing in which players were slapped, punched, doused with paint and splattered in the face with mud and feces.
Five girls ended up in the hospital, one with a broken ankle and another who needed 10 stitches in her head.
"I guess there was some football involved, but then it was pushing, punching, hitting, putting buckets on heads ... showering people with debris and, according to one report, human excrement," said Northfield Township District 225 Superintendent Dave Hales. "It was hazing."
Videotapes played on television show girls in yellow jerseys punching, slapping and dumping paint on other girls kneeling on the ground. Some spectators hoist cups of beer.
Glenbrook North Principal Michael Riggle said alcohol contributed to the violence.


I hope this news will finally shut up all the critics who say that alcohol kills brain cells....These brilliant young women were striving for collegiate greatness IN THEIR FREE TIME! Look at all the school subjects they were teaching each other about:

Mathematics = "Five girls ended up in the hospital..."

Anatomy = "one with a broken ankle and another who needed 10 stitches in her head."

P.E. = "I guess there was some football involved, but then it was pushing, punching, hitting..."

Theatre = "putting buckets on heads..."

Biology = "and, according to one report, human excrement..."

Art = "Videotapes played on television show girls...dumping paint on other girls kneeling on the ground."

Chemistry = "...alcohol contributed to the violence."

These girls should be tutors....Their vast knowledge spans the whole spectrum of academia.

And, let's not forget that in addition to LEARNING so much, what's most important...is that they all had FUN!

Somebody give those girls a scholarship!!

To Yale or Harvard, preferably...

 

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