11:34 p.m. - 2003-04-28
Women are from Venus blah blah blah SARS
For some reason, people don't want SARS:
Edgar Frog: Hello
Swtsnow819: hi
Edgar Frog: You live in Chicago?
Swtsnow819: yep u?
Edgar Frog: I'm with the International Disease Research Facility, based out of San Diego State and West Soho Adjacunt.
Edgar Frog: Have you heard of it?
Swtsnow819: i'm afraid not.
Edgar Frog: I'm currently looking for test subjects in the Chicago area who would be willing to be voluntarily infected with SARS for research purposes.
Edgar Frog: Perhaps you've heard of it. It is a deadly strain of influenza which is spreading westward from Beijing. It's already made it to Toronto, and we believe that Chicago is a likely entrance point for it into the US.
Swtsnow819: i just came back from a trip from japan but 10 days is about to pass but & i dont see any symptoms
Edgar Frog: Well, we have controlled vials of the disease in our lab, as well as CDC Headquarters. What we'd like to do is inject the SARS virus into your bloodstream and monitor your health for a period of 45 days.
Edgar Frog: Would you be willing?
Edgar Frog: You'd be compensated, of course.
Swtsnow819: i dont want a virus no thanx. lol
Edgar Frog: Ma'am, it's for very important research purposes though. You have to understand that by volunteering you could be helping to save countless lives.
Swtsnow819: well i'm sure there are enough sample cases somewhere.
Edgar Frog: There is only a 85% chance that you would die, which seems fair to me. And we'd pay you five dollars a day for your time.
Swtsnow819: 85% is alot and $5 for that risk doesnt sound right for me
Edgar Frog: You could do it out of your own house. We could monitor you via the internet.
Edgar Frog: If not SARS, how about AIDS?
Edgar Frog: Slightly higher risk of death, but we'd pay you $15 a day.
Edgar Frog: Ma'am?
Swtsnow819 is not currently signed on.
Edgar Frog: Hi
RainbowRaver669: hi
Edgar Frog: You're in Wisconsin?
RainbowRaver669: yes
Edgar Frog: Well, I'm with the Vassar State Disease Research Department. Have you heard of the SARS disease that is spreading westward from Beijing?
RainbowRaver669: no
Edgar Frog: You haven't?
RainbowRaver669: no
Edgar Frog: It's killing everybody.
Edgar Frog: Anyways, forget what I just said.....I'm looking for volunteers who would be willing to be infected with SARS for research purposes.
Edgar Frog: The effects are much like ecstasy.
Edgar Frog: I would need to monitor you for 45 days after infection and see how your symptoms progress and monitor your inevitable death.
Edgar Frog: Would you be willing?
RainbowRaver669: no
RainbowRaver669: i dont want to die
Edgar Frog: There's only a 85% chance of death.
Edgar Frog: You'd be helping research, and saving lives.
RainbowRaver669: hell no
RainbowRaver669: i dont wanna die
Edgar Frog: All volunteers who get infected with SARS get a free lollipop, and FIVE dollars a day!
RainbowRaver669: ya right its not worth it
RainbowRaver669: what does SARS stand for
Edgar Frog: It's not like Smallpox....You won't get disgusting sores on your body. You'll just stop breathing in your sleep probably.
RainbowRaver669: im not dumb
RainbowRaver669: test it on your self
Edgar Frog: Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome......It affects your lungs.
Edgar Frog: You get a free lollipop though. What more do you want?!
RainbowRaver669: dude its not worth my life
Edgar Frog: So, you're willing to let thousands of other people die, just because you won't volunteer your own life?
RainbowRaver669: dude i have my own problems
Edgar Frog: Would you be infected with SARS if we gave you a $50 gift certificate to Hot Topic?
RainbowRaver669: How did u know i shoped there?
RainbowRaver669: what if i was a GAP kid
Edgar Frog: I'm a scientist. I know things.
RainbowRaver669: so that doesnt mean anything
Edgar Frog: So, you refuse to be infected with SARS, even though you have a 15% chance of survival?
RainbowRaver669: im not giving up my life
RainbowRaver669: so for get it
RainbowRaver669: so are you going to set up shop with Doctor Kavorkian
Edgar Frog: He didn't give people lollipops.
Edgar Frog: And he killed people. I'm just talking about giving you SARS and letting fate do the rest.
RainbowRaver669: you don't actually think your going to find someone that will agree to go though that do you?
Edgar Frog: Would you at least be willing to devote one of your arms to science, so we could study the degenerative nature of smallpox on human flesh?
Edgar Frog: You'll be anesthetized, obviously, during the amputation of your arm.
RainbowRaver669: no
RainbowRaver669: dude stop
RainbowRaver669: i want to live i want to keep every part of my body
Edgar Frog: Is there any part of your body you'd be willing to devote to disease?
RainbowRaver669: why dont you amputate your penis and stick it in your ass
