12:46 a.m. - 2003-03-12
Never settle.
Edgar Frog: Damn Katie.....Lookin' good.....
LittleChipmunk4U: lol thanks
Edgar Frog: I found you in the Member Directory......Are you still looking for work?
LittleChipmunk4U: yup
LittleChipmunk4U: nothing naked or gross though
Edgar Frog: Never.
Edgar Frog: You're a classy girl, I can tell.
LittleChipmunk4U: so what are ya payin me for ?
LittleChipmunk4U: lol
Edgar Frog: What are your qualifications?
LittleChipmunk4U: i can type, i have a nice phone voice..
LittleChipmunk4U: not great with people
LittleChipmunk4U: im polite of course, just nervous
Edgar Frog: You're a gorgeous woman....It pains me to think of you struggling, so I want to help you get a job.
LittleChipmunk4U: and how would u do that?
Edgar Frog: Well, I can hire you to work for me, if you qualify.
LittleChipmunk4U: work doing what?
Edgar Frog: What prior job experience do you have?
LittleChipmunk4U: none
Edgar Frog: You've never had a job?
Edgar Frog: How old are you?
LittleChipmunk4U: 18
Edgar Frog: Just a full-time student?
LittleChipmunk4U: no
LittleChipmunk4U: not a student yet
Edgar Frog: Well, what kind of work are you looking for?
Edgar Frog: What are you interested in doing?
LittleChipmunk4U: lol i think the real question is what are you offering
Edgar Frog: Well, I can tailor the job to meet your needs.
LittleChipmunk4U: could you be any more vague?
Edgar Frog: Well, if I knew what you were looking for, I could try to find a position suitable for you.
LittleChipmunk4U: no seriously, i need you to be a little bit blunt
Edgar Frog: Well.....My company deals mostly with diarrhea.
LittleChipmunk4U: *concerned*
Edgar Frog: I don't blame you.
Edgar Frog: It's a high-paying position.....But not one that many people are willing to take.
LittleChipmunk4U: im not cleanin toilets
Edgar Frog: It's not a janitorial position.
Edgar Frog: It's pharamaceutical in nature. Basically, we test anti-diarrhea medicines.....
LittleChipmunk4U: i dunno if i wanna be a part of that
Edgar Frog: But, we have to test the anti-diarrhea medicine by giving it to people who HAVE diarrhea. So, we have volunteers whose job it is to basically get diarrhea so they can test the medicine.
LittleChipmunk4U: woah
LittleChipmunk4U: no thanks
LittleChipmunk4U: i have enough problems as it is
Edgar Frog: It starts at $25/hr. + benefits........You'd just have to be willing to voluntarily get diarrhea once a week or so.
Edgar Frog: You have diarrhea problems already?
LittleChipmunk4U: no
LittleChipmunk4U: i dont have those kind of problems
LittleChipmunk4U: im just a sick person
LittleChipmunk4U: i dont need to add to the list
Edgar Frog: Basically, the volunteer eats nothing but string cheese and milk from Thursday-Saturday. Then they come in on Sunday with diarrhea.
Edgar Frog: You work one day a week basically.....But you get paid for 40 hours @ $25/hr.
LittleChipmunk4U: i need my nutrients
LittleChipmunk4U: im 94lbs, with hypoglycemia
LittleChipmunk4U: im not doin it
Edgar Frog: You can see how the job has its benefits though.
LittleChipmunk4U: no not really
Edgar Frog: But, what if I told you that we could work around you?
LittleChipmunk4U: i could dance and feel more dignified than a person who did that,,, and make more money too
LittleChipmunk4U: oh but what if i told you i would pass out 6 times a week?
Edgar Frog: We have other positions....Just not as high-paying.
Edgar Frog: Pharamaceutical companies have lots of growth opportunity.
LittleChipmunk4U: i dont need anything more than min wage
Edgar Frog: Why settle for minimum wage? You're an intelligent young woman.
LittleChipmunk4U: who's never worked before
Edgar Frog: If you're not willing to voluntarily induce diarrhea, would you be willing to, say, donate rectal tissue once a month?
LittleChipmunk4U: ur not gonna find anything more than min wage without experience
LittleChipmunk4U: funny
Edgar Frog: I'm offering you more than min. wage, and no experience is required.
LittleChipmunk4U: ur a strange person
Edgar Frog: It's the same as getting a gynecological exam, but they swab the inner lining of your rectum. Then we examine the cells, and use that knowledge to help fight things such as diarrhea, colon cancer, prostate cancer, pollops......
Edgar Frog: It's easy and painless. Once a month.
LittleChipmunk4U: you weren't there for my gyno
LittleChipmunk4U: i almost killed my doctor
Edgar Frog: I guarantee this is painless though....They don't have to go nearly as far inside of you.
LittleChipmunk4U: its not that which bugs me
Edgar Frog: A little Q-tip right inside your anus. That's all.
LittleChipmunk4U: oh ya sounds insane fun
Edgar Frog: We pay $200 each to volunteers for that. Since you're 18, you're eligible.
LittleChipmunk4U: not interested
Edgar Frog: A female nurse would perform the procedure, so you'd have maximum comfort.
LittleChipmunk4U: no, female does not equal comfort
Edgar Frog: A male can administer the procedure as well, whichever you prefer.
LittleChipmunk4U: id prefer to stop talkin to u
Edgar Frog: I like you. You're a talented girl....I'm just trying to help you out.
LittleChipmunk4U: what exactly did u think i meant by "non disgusting" job?
Edgar Frog: There's a lot of ways you can contribute to the company.
LittleChipmunk4U: i dont care for the sounds of ur "company"
Edgar Frog: I don't think this is disgusting. It's beneficial to health and medicine.
LittleChipmunk4U: oh really? so you would be proud to call ur friends n family and tell them people have u shit all day then swab ur asshole?
Edgar Frog: There's a lot of ways your rectum can help society.
LittleChipmunk4U: i bet
Edgar Frog: In what ways would you prefer to contribute your rectum? I might be able to come up with a position for you.
LittleChipmunk4U: of course u would
Edgar Frog: Unfortunately, some of us have to do the dirty work for the good of mankind.
LittleChipmunk4U: uh hu.
LittleChipmunk4U: im more of the clean type
LittleChipmunk4U: i dont give a sht bout mankind
LittleChipmunk4U: you can take that litterally
Edgar Frog: If you have healthy bowel movements, you could even contribute in that way.
LittleChipmunk4U: i think im gonna keep my asshole to myself thanks
Edgar Frog: We need photos of healthy bowel movements as well as diarrhetic feces....So, even if you were to contribute photos of your stool, that would be beneficial......And we'd pay you of course.
LittleChipmunk4U: ya ok sure when do i start
Edgar Frog: You could either mail in photos of your stool....Or visit our main office, where we have a restroom facility for test subjects.
LittleChipmunk4U: ya... ok bye
Edgar Frog: So, you're not interested in contributing your rectum or feces in any way?
LittleChipmunk4U: lol thanks but no
Edgar Frog: Can I ask you one more question?
LittleChipmunk4U: probably not
Edgar Frog: Would you describe your stool as "healthy"?
LittleChipmunk4U: as an ox
LittleChipmunk4U: night
