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4:43 a.m. - 2002-11-16
All aboard the Edgar Frog Express
I've been looking around in other people's diaries lately in Diaryland, and I've noticed that everybody is so lonely.

Everybody's diary entries are depressing. They all write about how they are failures with the opposite sex.

It's like the hip thing to do nowadays...to whine about how lonely you are. Look around at other diaries and see what I mean.

It's the trendy thing to do nowadays, apparently...to complain about how lonely you are, and how the opposite sex doesn't notice you.

COOL!! I want to try!! If it's the trendy thing to do, count me in:



There's this girl in my theater class that I'm in love with. She's the tiniest, cutest, cuddliest little thing in the world. I have a schoolboy crush on her. Her name is Stella.

Her name means "star"...

I like her hair too. One day her hair is curly and frizzy and pulled back in a ponytail. The next day it's long and straight.

Her hair is magic!

All semester I've watched her from afar and dreamed of being with her. I'd be a happy camper if I was with her.

She's all I need in life.

I never spoke one word to her...until the other day.

I went to class vowing that I would start a line of communication with her. I need an icebreaker, I thought to myself...

So, I went up to her, having never spoken a single word to her before, and I said this:

"So, Stella, how do you get your hair so curly?"

She explained that her hair is naturally curly, and that she uses a blowdryer to get it straight. Then she walked away.

Wow.

How smooth was that?

I mean, I came pretty damn close to getting her in the sack with that one. I think the reason she walked away is because she was left speechless by my charm and charisma.

Another instance took place at my work yesterday. Some cute, young soccer-playing girl came in. She was wearing her soccer uniform, including little shorts.

I told her that I played soccer once in P.E. class and the ball hit me in the wrist and left a big-ass bruise, so I vowed to never play soccer again because the balls are too hard. I told her that soccer would be more fun if they used Nerf balls.

She said "Uh huh" and left the building.

Deep down inside, I think there was some sexual tension. I'm assuming she left to go home and masturbate to the thought of me....

I guess the women are turned on by my intelligent conversation-starters.

Calm down, ladies....

There's enough of me to go around.

 

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