1:48 a.m. - 2002-10-21
What the world needs now....
Quickest I've ever gotten somebody to ignore me on AOL:
Edgar Frog: hi
ReDnEcKaMmO: hi
Edgar Frog: I see you like hunting. Me too. Are you in the NRA?
ReDnEcKaMmO: no
Edgar Frog: me neither. but i'm only 13.
Edgar Frog: what kind of gun do you use?
ReDnEcKaMmO: 7mm 30-06
Edgar Frog: my dad has a tec-9 that he keeps in his closet. me and my friend play with it sometimes when my dad's not home.
Edgar Frog: i bet a tec-9 would blow a deer away
ReDnEcKaMmO: kool
ReDnEcKaMmO: hell yes
Edgar Frog: it would be funny to see what a tec-9 could do to a person's face, don't you think?
ReDnEcKaMmO: yup
Edgar Frog: that is why the sniper is so funny.
Edgar Frog: he's a hunter, just like you and me.
Edgar Frog: hello?
ReDnEcKaMmO cannot currently receive Instant Messages.
Not bad, not bad...But I hadn't even said everything I wanted to say. I was going to ask where a kid like me could get a gun on the internet easily. I was going to ask him what weapons would be best to blow a human away. I was going to say that hunting had taught me that shooting things was cool, that I was becoming bored of shooting deer, and that at the tender age of 13 I was already aspiring to become a sniper and hunt man.
I was going to acknowledge my right to bear arms, particularly semi-automatic machine guns.
It might've turned into a long gun debate, and I'm not sure how funny it would've been, but being an anti-gun vegetarian pacifist, it was a road I was willing to go down.
Instead it was just the quickest conversation I've gotten somebody to ignore me with. In real time, the conversation was about 40 seconds.
He didn't like being compared to the sniper, I guess.
I don't see a difference.
My weekend was one packed with violence, it seemed. I was confronted on Friday night over 10 dollars and narrowly escaped a bar brawl, and then last night I saw a documentary in the theaters called "Bowling For Columbine" about the Columbine shootings and gun violence in America.
Go see it.
At least one of the victims of Columbine, by the way, was shot in the face with a Tec-9 (the gun I mentioned up above in my chat conversation).
This is a Tec-9, which we all have the right to own:
You don't use Tec-9's to shoot deer.
Anyways, after the movie, I got shitfaced from whiskey as usual, and walked to the beach with my roommate in a drunken stupor. We were in Ocean Beach, scumbag capital of the world, where I had nearly gotten into a bar brawl the night before.
Thoughts and images from the documentary were still going through my mind: Surveillance camera footage from the Columbine High cafeteria which showed kids running for their lives as grenades were lobbed at them, footage from the L.A. riots showing a woman get smashed in the face with a brick, September 11 footage, etc., etc.
So, I was in a peacful state of mind. I loved my fellow man.
Plus, I had whiskey flowing through my veins.
In Ocean Beach, all the drunk kids sit around bonfires at the beach late at night. That's where we were. And this is what I was doing:
I was tongue-kissing dogs.
Honest, I was!...It could have something to do with the Jack Daniels in my system.
It was my first time ever tongue-kissing dogs on a public beach at night.
People were disgusted. My roommate pointed me out to girls who were sitting by the bonfire.
"Ewwww!" they would all yell.
There were quite a few dogs there. I was trying to kiss every one of them.
But I wasn't just letting them lick my face. I was actually sticking my tongue out too.
Me and the dogs were making out. I kissed just about every dog there.
Everybody thought I was crazy.
Maybe so...
Everybody said I was nuts.
I don't blame them....
And then, at one point I walked away by myself to go piss, and when I returned a guy and a girl were arguing with each other.
I didn't know her. I didn't know him. They were yelling in each other's faces.
I drunkenly walked up to them and got involved, and asked what they were arguing about. Now I was in the midst of the situation.
Suddenly, without warning, the guy fully headbutted the poor girl in the face.
I heard a pop.
That was the sound of her nose.
She grabbed her face and started crying. Some other people tackled the headbutter.
The girl ran towards him, crying, and started hitting him while he was on the ground.
I grabbed her and pulled her away. Some other people grabbed the guy. I stayed with the girl while she cried, my arms around her, and told her it would be okay. She told me to help her find her purse. We walked around.
I couldn't find it.
I stayed with her for the next 15 minutes or so, my arm around her.
She had her right arm around me, and she was using her left hand to hold her face.
Eventually, some people showed up who knew the girl. They took her to their car. They found her purse. Her and I split up.
I don't know what happened to the guy who headbutted her. I imagine he was beaten pretty bad.
Afterwards, I wished that I had punched him in the face. But, my immediate reaction had been to take care of the girl rather than get revenge on the guy.
Later in the night, I found the friends of the girl. I asked where she was. She was in the back seat of their car. I went over to the car and opened the door.
She was okay.
"Remember me? I was the guy who helped you look for your purse. I was with you the whole time."
She hugged me, and I kissed her on the cheek.
And then I left.
And not once did I think about eating corn dogs out of her vagina, or fondling her breasts, or asking her to tell me about her diarrhea experiences...
That's how drunk I was!
A weekend of fights, fights, fights....a documentary about Columbine thrown into the mix....and the finale: A girl being headbutted in the face by a guy twice her size.
I think it's crazy....
I think it's nuts.
Speaking of which....
Before I kissed that girl on the cheek, I guess I probably should've told her that I had spent most of the night tongue-kissing dogs.
Her nose was already bloodied....The last thing she needed was for her cheek to smell like a dog's ass.
