so i've been bestowed with the topic of diarrhea.. and i know what you must be thinking.. how can a cute cuddly girl have such a thing.. let alone spell it.. well i hate to burst your perfect lil bubble.. but we do not go to the bathroom to powder our noses.. and so this leads me into my lil story..

picture this.. sunday afternoon at your local mall.. searching for the new deftones cd.. when all of a sudden.. i hear/feel this gurgling sound in my stomach.. and i look around to see if anyone heard it as well.. and then there it is again.. louder and stronger..i drop everything.. and rush out.. clutching my anus tight.. while the thought of a conversation i had earlier flashes thru my mind.. "how if you have too much anal sex.. you lose all the muscles in your anus.. making it impossible for you to hold your shit.. hence spewing it all over your rear".. fucking tacobell.. i was warned it was diarrhea in a bag..

i make it to the bathroom.. and only two stalls.. what kind of mall is this you ask.. so i rush into the only one available.. and to my horror i see.. week old pee.. and what seems to be blood.. floating around in the bowl.. and no it doesn't flush.. i curse my luck.. and proceed to remove my cotton white panties with the word "sunday" on the front.. i try to be as quiet as a mouse.. since there is someone in the stall next to me.. and as the fecal matter.. floods out of my ass.. making these plopping gurgling noises.. with a couple of wet farts.. i start marking lil fart noises with my mouth to the tune of some song i cannot remember.. i don't think the lady in stall #2 was fooled.. to shit while hovering over the seat is quite a task i tell you.. no way my ass is touching that seat.. so i clutched the walls to keep my balance..

and as i was releasing this wet demon from within.. i hope that none of that toilet waters splashes my ass.. when i think i'm going to leave that stall with my ass splash-free.. the last one is a great gusher.. and up comes the water.. i let out a disgusted shriek.. and swear i'm going to die of some new anal disease.. when i think things couldn't get any worse.. no toilet paper.. yes ladies and gentleman.. not even the empty roll to wipe your ass with.. so i did the only logical thing i could think of.. no i did not use my hands.. that'd be a great trip to the sink with my hands all pooped up.. no i took off my transformer's socks.. and proceeded to wipe my ass.. both were caked.. and placed in the waste basket.. i refused to soil my panties.. and so i left.. with a clean ass and no socks.. and that foul stench of rotten eggs still lingering in my mind.. so next time.. you decide to give your wholesome clean girlfriend a "rim-job".. think of this story.. for this is how we "powder our noses"..