11:26 a.m. - 2002-08-20
Captain Morgan can suck my cock
I drank rum last night.
A lot of it.
Which is odd, because I'm more of a whiskey man myself.
And, while drinking Captain Morgan rum, I compared the bottles and noticed that Jack Daniels was 86 proof and Captain Morgan rum was only 70 proof.
Kid's stuff!
"70 proof!", I thought. "It might as well be water!"
So, I wasted no time mixing it with Coke....I promptly took straight shots and drank Captain on the rocks.
Apparently, my stomach has built up a tolerance to whiskey, even though whiskey is more deadly.
My stomach would not tolerate that Captain Morgan bullshit. Neither would my brain.
I remember very little about last night.
I was supposed to work from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. today....As you'll notice from the time this entry was written, it's now 11:26 a.m......I woke up a little late.
Fuck Captain Morgan rum!
No wonder pirates went extinct.
I have to remember to stick to whiskey.
Cowboys knew what they were doing....That's why they're still around.
Think about it....Drunken unemployed boozehounds always wear cowboy boots and Wrangler jeans. They want to be cowboys.
You never see drunks wearing peg legs and eyepatches.
I'd rather be a cowboy than a pirate.
Did I mention that this morning I threw up some kind of liquid which could only have been urine.
Jesus! Did I drink my own urine last night while I was drunk off rum?!
Quite possibly.
You'll never see a cowboy drinking his own urine....
