11:52 p.m. - 2002-08-16
Women's Lib: Part 8
I have a feeling that my Women's Lib entries will be ending soon....I think my Women's Lib entries are coming down the homestretch. Why?
Because I'm running out of topics.
I've already done most every topic that I could think of, as far as bodily functions and general filth go.
Unless I start repeating topics....But, I'm not sure if that would be interesting. Who knows....
Anyways, there's still a couple more topics I have in mind, so I'm good up through October...which will be Women's Lib 10. After that, the future of my Women's Lib entries is dim.
My Women's Lib entries, as I hope you know by now, are a monthly feature where I get a random, cute, sweet, innocent, ladylike, lovable, cuddly, cutesy-pie, young girl to write about the filthy, humiliating, degrading, and often shameful topic of my choice.
The purpose is to reveal the deep, dark secrets which are locked away in the female mind and to open up new doors in the women's liberation movement by empowering the female gender to free themselves from the chains of censorship and, uh....
Ah, who am I kidding? I just like to see cute girls talk about pooping and farting and stuff like that.
This month, I chose a cute little 19 yr. old girl from New Jersey, who dabbles in art and web design and sings in a band. Here's her picture:
I really love this girl...She's like a little artistic genius. She really knocks my socks off with her web design skills. I've seen her website.
I mean, she's not THAT good. I bet I could design a website that's just as good as hers. But, um...I don't want to....
Since she's such an artistic prodigy, I decided to ask her the same thing I'd ask any cute, artistic girl:
"Have you ever had a yeast infection?"
Luckily for me, she had.
So, I made her write about it. Here's her entry:
the yeast infection. its just like god's way of pointing a big foam finger at you and saying: "as if childbirth, the male race, and bleeding from your vagina for fifty-semi years isn't enough.... i'm going to make you itch and burn everytime you need to take medicine to get over illness." personally i've only had one, it was years and years ago and honestly i haven't thought about since until asked to write about this topic. so i'll do my best to recollect the details of the irritating experience.
most women already know that if you are perscribed amoxycillin, the next week of your life is the LITERAL equivalant of burning in hell. not only are you already sick with a bad cold or the flu but now you feel like your vagina has made friends with a pack of strike anywhere matches and you've got a tempermental mushy discharge making a mess of everything you wear. in all honesty it doesn't look like much, you just turn terribly red and sometimes a bit swolen if you can't restrain yourself from scratching. its the putrid milk-like substance that you're leaking thats left to be the real prize.
fortunately for us, the ones who have to endure this shitty reality, there are remedies such as vagisil, monistat 7 (among other creams) that can either cure the infection or at least make the pain subside... and trust me we are all WELL aware these exist. this may sound great and it is, the only ass-backwards thing about it is that they make television commercials which men see and turn into crude jokes. not to mention when you see one on and you're in mixed company, it makes for an interesting icebreaker.
the most unfortunate aspect in its entirety is that at some point in your life, as a woman, you WILL experience one. this isn't something that can be avoided at all costs. women who wear their pants too tight, or as i said before take perscription drugs, among other random causes... don't be fooled into thinking it won't happen to you. you'll wake up one morning and want to cut off the lower half of your body if it meant you wouldn't to bare the leaking, itching, potentially bleeding sensation that is the yeast infection.
What the...?!
What in God's name...?!
Did I, uh...?
Is it just me or, uh....?
Did I read that correctly?
Did I just read that she was leaking a "putrid milk-like substance"?
Before I published this Women's Lib entry, she asked me to please not accuse her of being dirty. She explained how it was an allergic reaction, and had nothing to do with a lack of cleanliness in her vaginal area.
She commented how I sometimes make fun of other Women's Lib authors, and she practically begged me not to accuse her of being dirty for having a yeast infection. She told me that she feels bad when people accuse her of being dirty.
So, I gave her my word that I would not accuse her of being dirty. I promised her.
Scout's honor!
So, I'm not going to accuse her of being dirty, at all. I understand her problem thoroughly....
Anyways, I'm sure that it was a very CLEAN putrid milk-like substance leaking from her vagina.
I'm sure her pus-filled, infected vagina was clean enough to eat off of.....
