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3:33 a.m. - 2002-07-05
Fireworks shmireworks.....
For the Fourth of July, I went bar-hopping to celebrate America's 226th birthday.

I ended up in Ocean Beach.....where every scumbag hippie and piece of shit homeless kid in Southern California goes to collect aluminum cans and beg for marijuana.

I ended up drinking more than my body weight should allow.

On afterthought, I didn't see a single firework tonight, even though Sea World usually lets off fireworks like there's no tomorrow. I saw no spectacular fireworks extravaganza.....no bottle rockets or roman candles...not even any snakes or sparklers.

I did, however, see no fewer than three exposed female ass cracks in the bar. Girls sitting there with their pants halfway down their ass, and their thong underwear sagging enough to unknowingly expose their ass cracks to the world.

Can't they tell their ass crack is exposed to the public? Don't they feel a breeze? Maybe they know, and they just don't care.....the little skanks.

Whenever I see an exposed female ass crack sitting at a bar, I just want to shove a cocktail weenie in there.

Preferably a cocktail weenie dipped in dijon mustard.

And then I want to tie a bib around my neck and eat that shit right out of their ass crack.

Hand me a fucking soup spoon.....I'll slurp some clam chowder right out of that fucking crack.

No fireworks this 4th of July....but three female ass cracks is not too shabby....

Not too shabby at all.....

 

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