11:20 p.m. - 2002-06-23
Bleccch....
I think I drank too much last night.
Which is odd, because I drank considerably less than I normally drink. Part of the problem might have been that I mixed whiskey with the King of Beers.
Part of the problem might have been that I drank the King of Beers rather quickly.
Whatever the cause, I threw up three separate times last night. Once on myself in a bar, once in the lobby of a movie theater, and once in the bathroom of a stranger's house during a house party.
I'll tell you this much: Only about 15% of my vomit actually went in the toilet of the person's house.
Another thing which may have contributed to my stomach turning against me is that at the house party, after I had already vomited, and while I was fading in and out of consciousness, a cute girl came and sat near me.
I like cute girls.
But, not when my own stomach acids and half-digested food are decorating my shirt. It was really embarrassing. She felt sorry for me, and pulled out a little Altoids canister from her purse. She opened it and offered me one.
I like Altoids.
"How sweet," I thought, "She's offering me a breath mint to cure my vomit breath."
To be honest, my breath was the least of my worries...Unless this girl was hinting that she wanted to kiss me.
So, I threw the little Altoid into my mouth, expecting a blast of cinnamon mint goodness.
Instead, I bit down into a chalky, tasteless substance....and for reasons unbeknownst to me, swallowed.
"Uh....that wasn't an Altoid," I said to her, "What the fuck did I just swallow?"
"Oh," she said, "it was a valium. It'll help you."
I immediately began praying for death.
She was no cute girl. She was the devil in disguise. I slept until 5 p.m. today, and vomited 4 more times after I awoke. My stomach was already empty....so I was vomiting stomach acids and nothing more.
Now....almost 24 hours later, I finally feel alive again.
The King of Beers and valium don't mix.
Not in my stomach anyways.
From now on, I'm sticking to my old pal, Jack Daniels.
