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3:36 p.m. - 2002-06-12
I am the weakest link.
The other day I auditioned to be a contestant on The Weakest Link.

They called me for some reason and asked me.

It was their idea....not mine.

Anyways, I woke up at 6:30 a.m. to go down there. There were about 60 other slobs there to try out also.

We all had to stand up and talk about ourselves. Each person had 15 seconds to "sell" themself.

Since I'm unemployed, I had no interesting job to tell them about.

I was contemplating telling them about my diary. I thought maybe it would make me stand out from the crowd if I told them my hobby is tormenting people in chat rooms, writing about filth and semen and rectal bleeding and bestiality.....and, the thing I'm most proud of: Getting sweet, young, innocent young women to write about said filth and semen and rectal bleeding, etc.

Also, I was going to tell them about my old webpage, in which I posed as the world's smartest monkey:

http://members.aol.com/edgarfrog/index.html

Anyhow, I ended up not mentioning my webpages, and I just told them about me being unemployed.

Probably why I didn't get chosen to be a contestant.

Also, they gave us a 20 question quiz with sample Weakest Link trivia questions.

One of the questions was which president immediately preceded Richard Nixon.

I said it was JFK.

Of course, we all know it's Lyndon B. Johnson.

So, I got it wrong.

I guess there's many reasons why The Weakest Link wouldn't want me to be a part of their show.

I don't have an interesting job....I got a simple presidential trivia question wrong.

But, to my credit, I don't have time to study the chronological order of our presidents when I'm busy swilling whiskey, looking for vagina to penetrate with my penis, and masturbating to The Golden Girls.

Damn.....I just remembered....I should've fucking told The Weakest Link about my Golden Girls masturbation habits.

I always think of the right thing to say when it's too late.

 

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