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9:59 p.m. - 2002-05-01
Don't say I never taught you anything.
I just got back from a brief stint in Las Vegas, you shit-for-faces.

Don't give up on my diary.

I'm unemployed now too. Isn't a man allowed to take brief breaks from his diary? 5-6 days pass without a new entry, and you shit-for-chins give up on my diary totally.

"He never updates anymore. Fuck him. He probably pawned his computer for rent money. I'm never looking at Edgar Frog's diary again. I hope he dies."

I am here. I am alive. And the diary lives on. I will continue to write new entries, amidst all the job-hunting and Vegas stints. I say "stint" for a reason.

Driving to the Grand Canyon for two days is called a vacation, driving to some mediocre city like Sioux City or Tallahassee is called a trip.

It was neither a vacation nor a trip when I went to Vegas. It was a stint.

Look it up.

Here are some things I have learned whilst being unemployed:

A. The word avocado is derived from the Aztec word for testicle....thusly named because of the avocado's resemblance to a male human's scrotal sac.

B. The word vanilla is derived from the Latin word for vagina....thusly named because of the vanilla beanpod's resemblance to a female human's vaginal orifice.

C. I personally am a direct descendant of one of the top Union generals in the American Civil War. He helped win the war. He devised many military strategies which are still used in combat today. There is a building at West Point named after him. West Point is the most prestigious military academy in America.

When Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, this General, who I am descended from, was a pallbearer at Lincoln's funeral.

He no doubt helped make our nation what it is today.

And, now, 150 years later, his great-great-great-grandson or whatever is writing online diaries about scrotal sacs and vaginal orifices.

I hope they name a building after me someday.

 

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