1:34 a.m. - 2002-03-22
E.T. Underoos
If I was smart, I'd be selling all my old E.T. merchandise right about now, in honor of the E.T. 20th Anniversary. Now is the time to cash in on this newfound E.T. craze...while the nation is on the ugly, little extra-terrestrial's nuts.
In my closet, I have an old E.T. blanket from 1982. It's in good condition. I have kept it preserved. It has never once been urinated on or defecated on by me, not even when I was a youngster.
Also, I have a 1982 issue of MAD Magazine, in which E.T. is parodied.
I was three and a half years old when E.T. was first released in theaters in June of 1982. I remember seeing it though. It is the first movie I remember ever seeing. I made my parents buy me Reese's Pieces all the time after I saw it. And a Speak N' Spell. I even bought little E.T. underoos...so I could have a picture on my smooth little ass of E.T. reaching his glowing finger out to Elliott's finger.
I even had E.T. jammies.
Yes, I call them jammies, not pajamas.
You got a problem with that?
When I referred to my E.T. blanket earlier, what I meant to say was "my E.T. blankie".
E.T. scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. I think I thoroughly defecated in my underoos when I first saw the movie. I distinctly remember being the annoying kid who cried the whole movie, till my mom had to eventually remove me from the theater. Especially at the beginning of the movie, when Elliott finds E.T. in the field behind his shed, and E.T. screams freakishly like some sort of tortured cat.
I'm going to go see E.T. in the theater again tomorrow. Hopefully, I won't defecate in my pants and cry frantically again when I see the movie this time. My mom won't be there to remove me from the theater if I do.
Also, I decided that in honor of the 20th Anniversary, I'm going to wear the EXACT same pair of E.T. underwear that I wore in 1982 when I first saw the movie. They are a child's size Small, so they are a little tight in the crotch region, but I figure I can just let my goods hang out to the side....and, in the back, they kind of ride my ass crack like a thong....so, you can't even really see the whole picture. You just sorta see E.T.'s hand on one ass cheek, and Elliott's hand on the other...and they are both reaching their fingers into my ass crack.....
It's like they come from two different worlds....but they both share a universal love for rectal fingering.
It really brings a tear to my eye to think about it.
