2:20 a.m. - 2001-11-29
Harry Potter and the Sexamacation Entry
So, I had an idea for a new chat conversation scam. I changed my member profile to say I was nine years old, and I listed my hobbies as "School and playing with friends and Harry Potter".
My idea was simple: I would Instant Message a lady, pose as a nine-year-old boy, and tell them I couldn't sleep because I was having nightmares about the Harry Potter movie. Then I'd say there were parts of the Harry Potter movie I didn't understand. Then, I would say something like this:
"my big brother and his frends said they had harry potter movie on video, so they took me to jacob's house and put in the harry potter video, but i don't understanmd what was happening. why did the man and the lady in the movie get naked together? who was that man, one of the evil wizards? i don't rumemeber that in the book. i didn't like that, so i made my brother turn off the movie."
This would lead into a sure-fire chat scam, I assumed. The unsuspecting victim would assume my big brother had shown me a porno instead of Harry Potter, and then I would ask all sorts of innocent sexual questions, like, "What is a vagina?" and "Why was the lady in the movie eating the man's ding dong?"
I tried my plan on about 5 different women.
It didn't work. They all called me sweetie and honey and baby. They all told me to ask my parents about any questions I had. They kept changing the subject to get my mind off sex.
At one point, to reinforce the fact that I was 9, I even said this to one of the ladies: "what is a vagina? is it kinda like harry potter's pet owl?"
I asked if a vagina was like Harry Potter's pet owl, for god's sake.
She told me to ask my parents.
Later, I asked where vaginas live. The response I received was that I should ask my parents. I asked if vaginas had magic powers like Harry Potter. "Ask your parents."
It was kind of amazing how I couldn't get any outstanding reactions.
So, I began telling the women that I was rubbing my pee-pee while I talked to them. I started asking about their boobies. I asked if Harry Potter had a vagina. I said my pee-pee was growing while I rubbed it. I kept asking why the Harry Potter movie showed a man and a lady naked together. Was the naked man an evil wizard?
Here's what they said: "I don't know. I have not seen the movie."
I tried and I tried.....I got nothing. I couldn't get any straight answers. Not a single woman explained the video that I saw, none of them said what a vagina was or what it did, nobody had a problem with me rubbing my pee-pee while I talked to them.
I guess combining Harry Potter, masturbation, and vaginas all in one conversation is too acceptable for a 9-year-old.
I should've tried the same Harry Potter/sex education idea, but without pretending to be a 9-year-old. I should've just acted like my real age.
A 23-year-old asking what a vagina is would've been great. A 23-year-old rubbing his penis while talking about Harry Potter would've been a recipe for success.
