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11:02 p.m. - 2001-04-26
We don't need no education
I went to 10 different schools from 1st-12th grade, and for fun just now I tried finding the websites of each of them. Surprisingly, all 10 of the schools have a website, even though many of the schools were shitty little shacks hidden within Washington farming communities.

The memories.

In 3rd grade I attended Carnation Elementary in Carnation, Washington. Try finding it on a map. You won't be able to. Carnation, Washington is home of Nestle-Carnation...as in, Carnation Instant Breakfast. The town consisted of the Carnation dairy farm, a few private dairy farms, the school I attended, and a general market. The school was meant for the children of the Carnation farmers. The kids would go to school while their parents milked the cows across the street, and at the end of the work day, the farmers would pick up their kids. I don't know how I ended up at that school, but somehow I did. My dad is not a farmer, nor am I. My paperwork must've gotten mixed up with some farmer kid's. Somewhere, right now, some redneck 22-year-old farmer is reminiscing about his third grade and wondering how he ended up at an upper-class elementary school in Seattle. In the Carnation playground, all we had was a giant tractor tire. It smelled like urine. No slides or swings. Just a big tire. The air smelled like cow shit all the time, because the Carnation Dairy Farm was located directly across the street. Cow shit and a big tractor tire.

On a positive note, we got free Carnation Instant Breakfasts everyday for lunch.

Incidentally, I have been all of these: Falcon, Cheetah, Tiger, Hawk, Falcon, Orca, Thunderbird, Lancer, and Wildcat. Apparently, I have been a Falcon twice. I don't remember that crap. But, I'm having a hard time believing it. My 1st grade school (John C. Fremont Elementary in Long Beach, California) had a Falcon mascot, and according to the website, my 4th grade school (Horace Mann Elementary School in Redmond, Washington) had a Falcon mascot also. But, I remember Vikings being painted all over the walls of Horace Mann. I remember Vikings being on my folders and notebooks too. What's this bullshit about being a Falcon? Why were there Vikings all over the fucking place?

Falcons my ass.

I remember being an Orca though. That was in 5th grade. How can you forget being a fat-ass whale?

 

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