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10:56 p.m. - 2001-04-25
Just Edgar Frog: Just Evil
The other day on HBO I saw a documentary called "Just, Melvin: Just Evil". It was about Melvin Just, a child molester who molested all of his seven daughters and step-daughters back in the late-60s. The documentary interviewed the girls, who were all adult women now.

They said how Melvin would play games with them to see which of them could fit the most crayons into their vagina. And he would make them have sex with him for money. If he got his penis 1/4 of the way into their little vagina, the girl would get a quarter. If he got it halfway in, she got 50 cents. If he got it all the way in, she got a dollar. It inspired them to make their vaginas looser, in the hopes of getting more money.

Silly Melvin.

True story.

But, all this talk of 'reproductive orifices', 'sexual profit', and 'foreign object insertion' got me thinking....From now on, when I'm broke, I think I'm gonna go to the pier, with a bucket of Q-Tips, and let people insert Q-Tips into my penis-hole. If they get it all the way in, they gotta pay me a buck. At the least, I'd make a quarter per person. I'd probably make $100 a day easy. Can you believe that?!

$100 a day just for letting strangers put Q-Tips in my penis....

And to think that I've been doing that every Saturday for the past 6 months, without getting paid one cent. It's a damn shame.

 

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